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Most understood the point I was making in the article, but rather than relaxing and just going with the flow, they wanted to know: “How can I fix it if I was stressing too much? First, you need to realize that getting all wound up over the state of your relationship serves no purpose, ever. The next step is to get to the root of it and figure out how to solve it.Rather than reflexively panicking when something seems amiss, set a deadline.For example, if you started seeing a guy and don’t hear from him for a day or two, say, “I will not panic about this right now.Instead of getting angry about it, just give yourself a deadline.If he doesn’t propose in the next month, then I will be upset and I will deal with it.Until then, I’m going to enjoy the relationship and not let this bother me.This little exercise will help you train your mind to stay calm and avoid spinning into a frenzy.
So you enter into the relationship as your best self and then one of two things happens: it works out, or it doesn’t.
From then on, the relationship was no longer enjoyable.
Every interaction and conversation became a test to see exactly where he stood and how he felt.
Either way, if it doesn’t work, it’s because it wasn’t the right fit. If you can realize this, A lot of us make the mistake of prematurely freaking out over something that really turns out to be absolutely nothing.
For example, let’s say you start seeing a new guy and things are going great. You feel a sense of dread deep in your gut and you know, you just know, that he’s never coming back.