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I refuse to beg for access, or beg for photographs, or ask permission when I can please take him on vacation.

I considered all the above paths for a long time and was tempted by more than a few of them.

Personally, I refuse to be blackmailed by my better instincts.

I refuse to be reduced to the level of a Disneyland dad by some judge, attorney, social worker or indeed his mother. One day, I will be able to get in touch without going through her once the child is old enough.

You’re just getting used to having them around, and they are gone. Sometimes I see children in shops that look like my child and find it hard not to break down. I had to remove all the photographs that I had of my child and every other item and put them in a box. In a box, held tightly under control, so that I can try and enjoy some semblance of a normal life. I am in despair that many people and the courts expect the impossible.

They expect the man to be totally interested, committed, involved with his child’s life – and yet – they make it impossible for that involvement to happen.