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The widower needs to learn how to be sensitive to you, as you are to him. Its hurtful to see that his identity is based on being her husband and you wonder if he can create a new identity.
Also, don’t let insecurities build up about the past. Its hurtful to feel like you can’t experience a holiday without it triggering memories of her. Anything you want to say to a widower who might be reading this?
We feel like if we say anything about taking the physical mementos out of site, you (the widower) automatically hears “shred everything” and that’s not what we’re saying. It’s important to apply the same standards to a widower as you would to any other guy.
A lot of older widowers have grown children; in fact, many may even be grandfathers. Widowers often need a woman’s touch around the house.
They might be used to a wife who did all the domestic things for them, such as the laundry, grocery shopping, cooking, or even fixing a running toilet.
’ There are both physical and emotional challenges.
Physical reminders–mementos, personal effects, wedding pictures are difficult to see around the house.