Dating your husband ideas
Then, while you're both clothed and not in the bedroom, bring up some things you enjoy sexually and that you would like to try in order to enhance the experience next time around, taking care not to place blame on him. "This is just a no-no," says Julie Orlov, psychotherapist, speaker and author of The Pathway to Love.By emphasizing what arouses you and what you two can do in the future, you'll spare his feelings without duping him in the process. "It's nasty and belittling, and it gets at his fear that he may be exhibiting the worst traits of his family." If you're about to spout a criticism like this, stop and think about what's behind it: Maybe your father-in-law is the kind of guy who never cleans up after himself, and your husband's habit of leaving dirty dishes around the house is getting to you.According to Ford, you should skip the insult and get right to a reasonable request, such as: "Hon, when you're done with your sandwich, can you bring your dish over to the sink? " First, figure out why you want him to find a new job so badly." That way, you can achieve your goals without hurting him in the process. Do you dislike how much time he spends away from home?Your disdain may also suggest that you'd prefer to pick his friends for him—and no one wants to be told who they should be pals with.A better choice: "Oh, honey, you know I don't always enjoy doing the same things as you and George, so why don't you plan a guys' night instead? Remember, there's no marriage rule that says you two have to do everything together; he might actually be relieved to have a little guy time with his pal that doesn't involve him having to worry if you're having fun or are offended by his friend's jokes.But if he's just loading the dishwasher in a way that drives you nuts? " Most men are willing to do most anything that'll make you happy––it's all in how you ask. Because saying the above, says Ford, is not getting anything concrete across.You may think that you're subtly conveying the message, but instead you're insulting his looks without showing any genuine concern for his health.
Sure, if he's about to hurt himself or someone else or break something, kindly step in. Try: "Would you be willing to fill up the car when it gets below a quarter tank? " Are you trying to hint that he's putting on weight?
At the end of the day, no husband is going to be inspired to be a better, more hands-on and involved dad if his every effort is shot down, says Orlov.
"If he always feels like he's wrong, he'll only start to disconnect emotionally." So let Dad be Dad.
Though you may have legitimate concerns to express or issues to bring up, doing so in a harsh manner can be damaging in the long term, to both your husband's feelings and your relationship.
According to Judy Ford, psychotherapist and author of Every Day Love, "Speaking kindly is a skill that couples have to learn.