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When a person (male or female) realizes that only they themselves can be responsible for their emotions, actions, and reactions…they break the chain of seeking a sense of OK-ness externally.It’s painful because it’s a belief that something that is impossible is could be possible…and therefore sets countless impossible expectations into motion.Unfortunately, it’s a false sense of well-being and is entirely dependent on the actions of others (thus the inevitable crippling neediness).MORE: 12 Guaranteed Signs You Can Get Your Ex Back For men and women, growth in relationship is in direct proportion to one’s sense of emotional responsibility.Personally, I have had breakups where I pretty much went cold. I wanted her to be OK, I wanted good things for her in life, but I knew that nothing was going to make the situation better.No discussion was going to fix things, no clarity was to be had – it would have just been an emotional toilet for both of us.
It’s not uncommon for people, men or women, to derive their sense of well-being, self-worth, and self-esteem from how other people treat them.I’ve heard things like: “When a guy’s relationship ends, he replaces her.When a woman’s relationship ends, she mourns,” or, “He’s just hooking up with such-and-such to spite the ex-girlfriend,” or “Guys just don’t care” and other nonsense.In the same regard, when a relationship ends, it is much much harder for a guy to go back and discuss and revisit and talk through and explain, etc. MORE: 5 Hidden Signs Your Ex Still Loves You (Even If He Says He Doesn’t) In fact, guys like to keep their emotional spectrum focused on a tight range of emotions – somewhere between amusement and contentedness.So any interaction that a guy knows will bring him out of that sweet range of emotions is an interaction he’s going to do everything he can to avoid.