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“I’m not perfect either,” I’d remind my friends, repeating something he liked to remind me.

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And I knew that as long as I stayed with him, I Over two years since I ended that relationship, I’m still learning to view myself in a more positive light. There was the time I refused to lend him money because he hadn’t paid me back last time, and he sarcastically responded that if I want to treat our relationship like a set of transactions, then we’d might as well put everything on a spreadsheet and never get each other gifts. How could I be so petty as to resent someone who never yelled at me or physically hurt me, who I loved and wanted more than anything to get along with?In fact, when I defended him, I sounded just like him. “Gas prices are ridiculous these days,” I’d point out when my friends found his habit of backing out of plans due to insufficient funds inconsiderate.“There was only one time he could have gotten anything,” I’d say to downplay the whole STI debacle.

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