Listening and validating feelings
Self-validation is the recognition and acceptance of your own thoughts, feelings, sensations and behaviors as understandable. Multi-tasking while you listen to your teenager's story about his soccer game is not being present.
Learning how to use validation effectively takes practice. Being present means giving all your attention to the person you are validating.
For example, some confuse anxiety and excitement and some confuse excitement and happiness.
For yourself, being mindful of your own emotion is the first step to accepting your emotion.Your experiences and biology influence your emotional reactions.If your best friend was bitten by a dog a few years ago, she is not likely to enjoy playing with your German Shepherd.Level 5, normalizing, would not work because most people would agree his response was reasonable and not be upset in that situation.There is nothing to make her response more understandable in terms of her history, so Level 4 is not possible. She quit because her boss loudly criticized her in front of other people.