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Will she still like me if she knows about the therapy I go through, and that I need this therapy so I can maintain relationships and jobs?
How can I take care of someone if I have trouble taking care of myself?
Now I’m still terrified, but at least I know I could never be with someone who can’t handle the difficult parts of me.
So last year when a cute guy I had been texting told me “TMI, dear” after I mentioned how overwhelmed I was after a colonoscopy (yes, I know conventional wisdom is to avoid mentioning butt procedures until you meet in person), it felt liberating to let him go.
That some nights I just want to be alone after having a great time the night before?And while I have a lifetime of experience dealing with these quirks of my body chemistry, total mastery will always evade me. Trying to navigate what to say when is a constant concern. People are allowed to want someone “normal,” just as I’m allowed to be upset that I can’t be that woman.I once dated a guy who, respectfully, asked what it was like to live with ADHD. “Well, here are all the reasons my diagnosis is real,” I started to say, recounting my difficulties focusing and keeping track of things and friendships and time. The truth is, he was understanding, but in that moment I realized how sensitive I had been—my biggest fear was being labeled “crazy.” I was terrified that a guy I liked would be scared away when he spotted my pill containers.For example, if I’m dating someone and I have an anxiety attack, how do I explain that to her?Let’s say I have persistent anxiety attacks that make it hard to communicate and explain what I’m thinking because I know what I’m thinking is irrational, how do I tell her about that without feeling so vulnerable I’m scared she’ll decide to end the relationship?