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Yes, I realize that you’re sensitive to people noticing your stomach or your nech.
I realize that baggy clothes seem more comfortable.
Large dudes will frequently lament that their size automatically disqualifies them from dating – they believe that there is simply no way a woman could possibly like somebody who’s body isn’t rippled and shiny like a buttered ear of corn. Kevin Smith, for all of his fashion sins that I will get into in a second, is happily married with a lovely wife and daughter. It’s easy to forget this when the TV and magazines are showing you nothing but image after image of cut, veiny men with swimmers builds with women draped all over them like fur stoles, but women actually like a far wider range of body types than we’d think.
Ask five women what their ideal male build is and you’ll get six different answers.
Every once in a while, I like to poll my readers on the Nerd Love Facebook Page and on Twitter to find out what issues they feel are holding them back when it comes to dating.
And the most common answer is: “I worry that I’m too fat to date.” I’ll be honest: I’m not surprised. According to the Center for Disease Control, 69% of adults 20 years old and over are overweight and 35% are considered obese.
Other scientists have discovered a strong link between the chemical Bisphenol A and weight gain; BPA is found in Still more factors include the ubiquity of high-fructose corn syrup in our food, the negative side-effects from processed soy products and even just plain old genetics and evolution.
Societal standards of beauty are not only arbitrary but often literally impossible to achieve without Photoshop and make-up and there are assholes out there who feel empowered to mock fat people with impunity.
But being large and in charge doesn’t mean that you’re doomed to a life of being forever alone; in fact, you may find that you have far more options for finding love, sex and happiness than you’d ever believe possible. There are plenty of notable examples out there if you look around. Seth Rogan is no Abercrombie and Fitch model but he’s also happily married.
A low-carb diet might help you lose weight, but it’s not going to change your underlying frame; if you’re naturally compact and dense, then you’re not going to jog that away. I inherited the O’Malley shoulders and I’m naturally barrel-chested; no amount of dieting or jogging is going to make that smaller.
I’m always going to look more like a beer keg than Henry Cavill no matter what I do or don’t eat.